Many times on this blog, I plan what I will write a day or two before, but today I pulled out my computer with an empty brain, so here I am, letting my words flow out freely with no plan what-so-ever.
I have often struggled in my life with not being satisfied, I always feel that I am not doing enough, that I should be pushing myself to the furthest limit possible. This is not a bad thing, however there comes a point when one has to reflect, and find the root of their over working.
I am a very firm believer in working hard, it is the one thing that brings me the most happiness besides my relationship with god, but I found that I was not doing it entirely for good.
Fear, it is one of the most powerful forces out there, it drives many of our decisions, and often I have to sit back and realize that this lack of faith is choosing my choices for me more then I would like it to.
I will push the point further with some background, last April I lost quite a bit of vision in my left eye, and before a surgery helped me gain much of it back, I literally saw everything I knew flash before my eyes, I had never realized how easily life could slip right out from under our fingers.
Now that things have returned to normal, I subconsciously am acting in fear, attempting to secure as much of my life as possible in case my vision is swiped from me again. It is important to work hard, and establish a job, but not because of fear.
Faith and fear cannot exist in the same place, and if I am letting fear steer my life, then I am no longer acting on faith, which means I am leaving the Lord out of my decisions. Christ is always knocking on our door, but we have to humble ourselves and rely on him to let him enter into our lives.
I will leave you with this simple question, what is driving your decisions?
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